amos136

Well, as some are looking very much forward to Summer, I however, am not. yes, it means going to the beach, flip flops, excessive trips to tropical smoothie, busch gardens, watercountry, kings dominion, ocean breeze and the million and one other things to do in hamtpon roads, along with my anniversary, but i also means that i will have to take the love of my life to the ship to say see ya later for 5 months. I am not looking forward to this at all. I hate deployments especially this one coming up. with this one I will be lucky to get one email and/or phone call the whole time he's gone. Im not looking for any sympathy whatsoever, i just get a little down whenever i think about it and writing it down helps a little. being away from him like that sucks, but it also reassures the both of us that no one could ever break the love that we have for one another. I am so glad that i have a husband that i can trust and that treats me right.

ok, so I know the approximate date for Omars deployment date and HOMECOMING DATE!!! I am SOOO looking forward to his homecoming because after being away from him for 5 months, having to deal with really crappy satellite phones when i get that once a month or once every month and a half (if even that much) phone calls, only emails, being in my apartment all alone because im scared to death of staying at home by myself at night, and a deployment extension, it will be very good to have him home. Then, there is a possibility that we will be spending 2 weeks in Puerto Rico for Christmas, or New Years. I do know that I am going to be spending 3 or so weeks in Alabama for Thanksgiving. I cant wait! WOOHOO! but yea, thats whats going on with me lately.

today has been pretty good. Tuesday I got some Christmas presents in the mail from my aunt and uncle. YAY!! hehe. it was some towels, and my aunt and i must have ESP or something because she sent me some green and yellow towels. That is what i was looking into getting from the NEX. Omar got some blue and light yellow off white looking ones. they actually match our shower curtain. I love getting stuff other than bills in the mail, especially if its something for the house, or better yet, money..lol. Yesterday i got to get my hair cut. i didnt get as much cut off as I originally wanted, but it still looks good. my head feels a whole lot lighter.ha. so my life is going pretty good right now.

OH YEA!!! JK Rowling announced what the last Harry Potter book will be called. so Im really happy about that, and I cant wait for the book to come out!

i found out today that Tim's gf/fiancee/wife or whatever she is, is having a baby! I talked to him tonight, and he seemed really good, and Im glad I talked to him because I realized that even if he were to come back to me, that it would never work out because we are both two totally different people now. Im in a much better place in my life right now. Im actually really happy for the both of them. There are no plans for babies in my future until at least the end of next year. I want to be in a financially better place then we are in right now, and im just glad that Omar feels the same way. I am really missing him a lot today for some reason. he's not out in internation waters, he is just on duty tonight. i have been down for some reason that i just cant put my finger on right now. I dont know if its just because i know that i wont be able to go home to see my friends and family for Christmas, or the fact that its the first christmas with paw paw. who knows it could be a combination of both.

on a lighter note, omar and i got an unexpected check in the mail for $95 and we went Christmas shopping last night. I got 3 shirts from Forever21 and he got a DVD and 2 books. Omar will have duty on Christmas eve, so im going to spend a little time with him on the ship and then im going to spend sometime with my aunt and one of her "friends" and on Christmas day, my aunt is going to cook. YUMMY!! for New Years, we might be able to go to South Carolina to see my aunt and uncle and cousins that live down there, so that will be a nice break.

You know some people IRK me. I dont know how to put this, but when someone talks about missing their husband/fiance/boyfriend after a day or a week or so, it kinda of makes me, i dunno. Try putting yourself in my shoes. Try having to rearrange your life around not what you want, but what your husbands work wants. Try going for SIX MONTHS without any phone calls, no letters, and having to worry about your husbands ship getting shot at by guns, bombs and missiles. At least as a civilian, you get to know exactly where and when your other half is going and how long they will be there. I DONT GET ANY OF THAT!! I dont get to know where my husband is going, when they will be in port, how long they will be there, and what they are doing. My husband cant tell me everything that goes on. It sucks!! I hate being without my husband with hardly no friends, and no family around. I cant just pick up and go home whenever I want. I get to have to military tell my husband where to go and what to do, when to do it and HOW to do it. He cant call in sick, he cant take off whenever he wants to, the pay SUCKS. I dont really know what the point of this post is. when i have kids, my kids wont be able to talk to their dad everyday, he will be missing out on a lot of thier lives. omar probably wont be here for the birth of his kids, wont be here to hear their first words, the see their first steps, birthday parties, Christmas's, and ALL of the important stuff. At least as a civilian, you get to take off whenever you want. So the next time you want to complain about not seeing your other half, stop and think about what people like me go through and think twice before you open your mouth to complain.

Well a lot has gone on since I last posted. I have gotten some things straightned out financially although I am still waiting on one thing. I just wish Omar would call me back so i can get it fixed! anyways. Its looking like omar and i wont be able to come home for new years. that makes me sad because im homesick. I know this is life with the navy, but i really want to spend time with my family and friends. Omar is being difficult because I want to move back to alabama while he is on his WestPac deployment next year, and he is saying that he doesnt want me to. I mean seriously WTF? he wont be here, and it will save us both some money, so just come off it! We are going to get another car as soon as he gets back from the deployment. I dont know what i want. I am thinking about getting a toyota camry or a small SUV, but im not sure yet, i still have a year to decide. Omars stepmom started a bunch of crap so omar and i arent talking to her right now. if we end up going to italy, we will not be stopping in naples to see his dad and his stepmom. Want to know one of the reasons she doesnt like me? because i dont like to cook. i mean come on seriously! what the hell is up with that. she also said that she doesnt like me because im not in school. ok, well, if you want to pay for it lady, go ahead, because i sure cant afford it right now. that lady just irks me. lol. ok, so we have been in our apartment for 5 months, so that means only 7 to go. lol.

that i Miss Timothy Williamson even though I am happily married to another man? I do miss Tim a lot and i have found myself thinking about him a lot lately. He cant justify for what hes done to me, but I do still love the boy. I miss not talking to him and i miss the friendship that we had. I bring this up because I had a dream last night where tim and I were back together. In the dream though, he was wearing a white shirt and some khaki shorts that were my favorite of his from the first time we dated. Im just so confused about somethings at this point in my life. I love my husband more than anything in this world, but I always seem to think...What if. What if Tim hadnt cheated on me? What if I had married him before he left for the Air Force? What if we were still engaged and still waiting to set a wedding date? It drives me crazy because I know NOW that I could never be married to him. I wish I knew what all this meant. Am I really not over Tim Tim at all? I havent thought about Tim since right before Omar and I met in March, and now all of a sudden, I find my self thinking about him a lot within the last 2 weeks. Like Thursday night, Omar had duty, so I was here alone. Well, I was looking at friends profiles, and i noticed that one of thier friends had a picture of her and her fiancee who was in his Air Force blues, and I cried for 10 minutes! Im not supposed to do that! Omar is in the Navy!!!! Im supposed to have MY HUSBAND on my mind 24/7 not TIM!!!!

Well, life without Paw Paw is very VERY strange. I miss him a lot. call me crazy all you want to, but I have a picture of him and me up on my desktop and I sit there and talk to it. Tuesday was a hard day because it was his birthday. Mom went and got a 'Happy Birthday' balloon and took it to his grave from my grandmother, their girls, and us grandkids. I thought that was nice, and I wish that i could have been there to put some more flowers or something on his grave. After Christmas, I should be ok again until Sept. 15 of 07, because that is the day that he would have been gone a year. I really need someone to talk to about this all of this (not paw paw, the tim thing)!

new blog site...check it out

http://amyciglesias.blogspot.com/

ok, so i have some good news that I just want to shout out to everyone, but i cant because i dont want to jinx myself. its good though. I know that this thing will eventually happen, but im hoping for monday for a definite.

Life lately has been crazy. I cant wait to move. i will miss all of my friends, but hey, at least i will be getting free health insurance, free housing, and free utilities (if i get an apartment cheap enough), and most of my food payed for all without having to get a job. but of course i will because i hate being bored all the time, and i must have something to do when Omar is underway, or has duty, or is at work. I am so happy with him. I can definitely see myself marrying this man, even though i told myself after tim and i broke up, that i would never date a military man again. I am because he is in the navy. hehe..I love a man who wears cracker jacks....lol.

Sometimes I think that the world is against me. My grandmother is driving me crazy, I dont talk to anyone but my cousin "Bubba" from my dads side of the family, and my dad basically treats my mom like pure crap. Jake is a great dog. I swear if it wasnt for him, i would have gone crazy a long time ago. But at the end of everyday, i realize what God has given me, and i know that he is on my side, and that is the only thing that matters.

Omar is coming down next saturday, and I couldnt be happier. That boy really is the love of my life, and im so glad that I am with him. This week is going to be busy. I am going to start packing now, so that way, when the time comes for me to actually move, then I wont have as much to pack, because thats the only thing i hate about moving or going on vacation. I still havent unpacked from when I went to virginia to see Omar back in may. Good thing that when Omar and I get married and the navy gives us orders, then we wont have to pack or unpack anything, and its all FREE!!! hehe. So, I have to do A LOT of laundry this week. My car is in the shop right now, and should be fixed on Monday or maybe tuesday. Hopefully monday though. Then I have to help my grandparents out, since my paw paw is having radiation done, he cant drive, so I have to run my grandmother to the grocery store, and some other places. I am supposed to hang out with Krystle and Adam, which is always a trip in itself...like last night for example...hahaha...is all i can say. ok, well, im going to go to my grandmothers for a while.

so its been a long time since i have updated but i have a lot on my mind. I was just reading through Kristy's post that she posted from the beach, and its funny how she has been there only a couple of days and she misses her other half like crazy. I hate it when people talk about missing thier significant other, because you get to see yours a hell of a lot more than I do mine. I havent seen mine in a month, and I dont know when the next time i will get to see Omar is. Omar goes underway, and im lucky to have him home for at least one day out of the week. and when he goes on his 6 month cruises (deployments) I dont get to see him at all for 6 months and sometimes more than 6 months, with only maybe 3 phone calls a month. Im not directing this at Kristy, or anyone in particular, its just that, sometimes i tend to get a little jealous because your SO is there with you, and mines not here with me. I am very proud of what he does and I love the lifestyle of the Navy (on most days anyways), but just stop whining because you havent seen or talked to you SO in like 2 days. it really does bug me. I know that a lot of other people feel the same way. i get frustrated sometimes because when we have a problem, i like to work it out right then, but if he is underway, then we cant. Yes, i knew what i was getting into when i started dating Omar, but if you have never been in this situation, then you just dont know what it feels like. I feel like im a lot more reserved and holding things back with omar then i was with Tim, because tim was the man that i was going to marry, the man that I loved more than anything in the world, but when he was so far away from me, he hurt me like no one could ever hurt me. I guess im reserved, because with Omar being so far away, i dont want to get hurt again. Omar and i are more alike than i thought we were. The other day, he told me something that happened to him, and that was something that happened to me. At first, I didnt tell him about it, but then i thought that if he told me this, then i should tell him mine. so i did, and i thought that he was going to be mad and think of me differently, but he didnt, and that is why i love him so much.

well, i havent updated in a while, and so much has happened. first the good news!!! My brother is getting married, and I am going to be an aunt!! I am so freakin excited I am busting at the seams. I want him to have a little girl so that I can spoil it with cute little dresses and such. but if they have a little boy, then I know that I will spoil him just as much. and if its twins, EVEN BETTER, but twins dont run in our family, so i doubt that will happen. This past weekend, i was in virginia with the love of my life. It was amazing. Sunday we went to see American Haunting, and it was ok, but the ending sucked. Thats all I am going to say incase any of you want to see it. Well, those are just the important things that happened. so I will leave you with that.

Well the last couple of weeks have been great! Until last night. things with Omar and me are going pretty good, except for the fact that im SO pissed right now! He said something to someone else that was totally out of line, and should have never been said because he has me, HIS GIRLFRIEND!!! Im not going to go into details about, but what he said should not have been said to his friend which happens to be a female!! Now im not saying that he shouldnt have any friends that are just girls, because I do want him to have girl friends. I mean Come on! If I would have said something like that to one of my guy friends, and he found out about it then what would he think? He would probably be just as pissed as I am right now. He was WAY out of line. I found this out last night, and Im not one to be mad for more than 10 minutes tops, but I mean this was horrible in my opinion. I am still mad, almost 24 hours later. If I get to talk to him later on, I am going to rip him a new one, actually im so mad at him i could easily rip him 200 new ones. Ok, im done ranting now!

Im sick and I wish that Omar was here to cuddle with me, because it would help me feel better. But no, the Navy has to have the ship deployed out into the Mediterranean until May 7th. SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!! I want Omar here with me SO BAD!! ok, going to eat my hotdog and take a nap!

Lately I have felt kind of lonely. Not really lonely like "I want a boyfriend" lonely, although that would be nice. Im talking about I dont hang out with anyone anymore, because I am so busy helping out my grandparents all the time. No one ever calls me anymore to talk to me except for my aunt. I only talk to like 2 people online, and that would be about it. I talk to Omar everyday which is WONDERFUL!! I love talking to him because he actually listens to me, and remembers what I have told him. I really like him a lot. Some things he says to me in the emails that he sends me makes me think one thing but other things he says makes me think the complete opposite. I dont want to ask him about it because we havent been talking very long at all, and I dont want to jeopardize the friendship that we have now. ok...Im hungry so Im going to make some lunch

Omar is great! he is the biggest sweetheart ever and is 975855541564146313 million times the man that Tim has ever remotely thought about being. We will see when I get to move to Virginia Beach for good next month!!

I thought this was cool so I decided to copy and paste it...Hope you dont mind Christian!!

Never ever ever take anything you have for granted. If you love something, love it. Treat it like it's the most perfect thing you've ever had. Never stop treating it that way if you have a bad day. Always be kind to the ones who will help you up. Always help someone else up when they fall, you never know who might have your back. Look up, its' a lot prettier up there. Always Do everything you can. Lastly, Be a great friend, and never let the bad things you've done go unfixed. At least attempt to fix what you break, and always keep your heart open. This is just advice from a friend, who learned so many of these things the hard way. - Me

Today has been a long one. I had to get up early this morning to meet my grandparents at the surgical center, because my paw paw had a nerve block put in. That went well. His surgery was less than half an hour. It started at 9 and he went home at 10. That is crazy. I have never heard of anyone having surgery that quick in my life. Not much has gone on here lately. I am just waiting for April to get here so that my aunt can get all of her work stuff in order so that we can work out the details of me moving. It has to be at a time that is convenient to her since she works 2 jobs. It would have to be one day where she would be off at Home Depot. I havent talked to Tim since the 9th and I plan to keep it that way. I am going to text him to tell him to send my movies back to me, because I want them really bad. The only ones that I have here with me are Mary Poppins and the first season of the Simpsons. I really want to get the Aqua Teen seasons, The first season of Greys Anatomy and all 4 Harry Potter Movies. Anyways...I am going to go now. Hopefully Omar has emailed me back. I love talking to him because he actually listens to what I have to say, unlike Tim. We have so much in common; its cool because he and I both have been through similar stuff in our lives and I can really relate to him. ok. going to go now. Leave me some love!!

I had the hiccups a little while ago, and i gave a hiccup while I was trying to swallow some coke, and I nearly choked, and it burned really bad going down. Life is still great! Im moving next month, so before I move, we need to have a little going away party for me, with lots of presents. hehe. just kidding. I am going to be flying up to VA beach and getting my dad to ship some of the stuff that I need really bad, and then when he has his vacation time getting a truck and bring me the rest of my stuff. I dont know though. We will just have to work out the details in the next few weeks. I cant wait. You guys just dont know how much and How long i have wanted this. and now its finally happening! YAY! Good things are happening in my life right now, and I am so excited. I have finally decided what I want to do with my life school wise. I plan on going to school within the next year, and getting a B.A. in Sociology and becoming either a probation or parole officer. They dont make a lot of money, but I want a job that is going to be challenging, and these two jobs definitely are.We will see though. Well, im going to go now. LOVE!!

Last night was horrible. My dad once again yelled at me forever it seemed like for no reason. UGH! i HATE it when he does that. But A certain someone helped me feel so much better. I really like talking to this person a lot. Maybe...just Maybe!! I hope so. Im not going to say what it is that I am hoping for because I dont want to jinx myself.